BOOK REVIEW- WHY YOU ACT THE WAY YOU DO
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UNDERSTAND ‘YOU’ AND ACT BETTER
AUTHOR: TIM LAHAYE
YEAR: 1993
NO OF PAGES:366
As humans, we seldom
understand that everyone has been created with different personalities, thus we
hear individuals say things like “I can’t tolerate her”, “she acts strange and
weird”, ‘I can’t just understand him’, ‘he is so unpredictable ’, ‘I can’t work
with him, he’s without emotions’ and so on. Tim Laye in his book 'Why you act
the way you do' helps to dispel some of these fears and uncertainties we have
while dealing with people by helping us understand the personality type of
every individual.
According to Tim, we are
influenced to a large extent by our personality types. Although as a spiritual
person, the weaknesses we exhibit as a result of our personality tends to become
less obvious, but we cannot deny that this personality doesn’t exist. He
mentions the fact that there are four different personality types in every
individual and these personalities possess weaknesses which should be
appreciated. These personality types include: The Sanguine, Choleric,
Melancholy and Phlegmatic.
He explains the fact that
the “sanguine” are happy people, they love to live life to its fullest, they
are usually very friendly and as a result, people feel comfortable around them.
‘Cholerics’ are a serious set of individuals, they are usually the workaholics,
they are focused and determined regardless of unpleasant events that occur
while trying to pursue a particular project. In otherwords, they are the ones
who really see blessings in every disappointment. The ‘melancholics’ are a very
analytical set, they have very high IQ’s and are artistic. Individuals who are
phlegmatics are usually quiet, easy going and don’t like to offend people.
However, Tim emphasizes
the fact that it is somewhat impossible to have an individual exhibit only one
personality type, hence the need to classify them into primary and secondary
personality types.
He mentions the importance
of aligning one’s self to the Holy spirit so as to better appreciate the
strengths inherent in one’s personality, while also gradually erasing some of
the weaknesses that has deterred one from functioning maximally as God has
always designed us to.
From the weaknesses the
author identifies in every personality trait, he explains (with biblical
evidence) that the presence of the Holy spirit would go a long way in ensuring
that we behave better and enjoy God’s will for our lives. According to him,
true repentance and constant study of scriptures would help us in achieving
this.
Asides the positive traits
that has been mentioned above, Tim makes to identify the weaknesses of each of
the types: Sanguines because of their care free nature, are disorganized,
proud, and as a result are prone to anger, and their tongue is one good way of
escape; Cholerics are usually the ‘workaholics’ in their vocation, they are
termed ‘emotionless’, and prone to anger just as the sanguines. Asides the fact
that they have the highest IQs (especially within their families), melancholics
are well known for criticisms and self condemnation, they fear and worry more
than any other personality type. It is for this class of people that Tim says
would need to have a lot of faith. The phlegmatics on the other hand, are
usually complacent, they are slow and would rather not initiate anything. For
the fear of hurting others, they would rather go along with what they say, they
tend to worry a lot as well.
Regardless of the
weaknesses associated with these personality types, Tim provides practical
steps that could be taken to curb them.
One interesting thing
about this book, is the fact that the author did not propose any idea in
isolation of some facts. Most of his ideas are backed with some biblical
evidence. Some others are based on his experience as a counselor and a pastor,
thus giving some credence to his work.
This book is a must read
for everyone as the author explains our different temperament in different
aspects like vocation, family, marriage and sex. It is a total guide on how we
can identify the problems that exist in these areas and with our knowledge of
different personality types, manage it effectively.
SOURCE: Reviewcolumns
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